How they got to Windows 2000

Microsoft, as usual is in short of good software professionals, and places an ad in all the leading newspapers of the world, inviting candidates for the job of making their next operating system, Windows 2000. But the ad scares away a lot of aspirants as it states that the interview would be conducted by Bill Gates himself. Microsoft, finally, receives only three applications – from an American, Japanese and an Indian (of course you guessed it right, none other than Santa).

They are all invited to Microsoft headquarters in Seattle for the interview. Gates says, "I will ask you only one question and your answer should decide your fate". All of them looked at Gates eagerly. Gates asks, "How do we achieve Windows2000 from Windows98?" The American and Japanese are puzzled and think over it. However, Santa looked relaxed and had a smile on his face. After a while, the American answers, "Fix bugs in Windows 98 for smooth transitions." Bill shouts, "Get out of here..." The poor guy runs out. The Japanese says, "Make Windows 2000 more user friendly than Windows 98". Bill Gates screams, "Get the hell out of here..."

Gates looks at Santa. Santa giggles and says: "Rename Windows 98 Windows 2000". Gates says " Balle, balle , you got the job."

Twins

What about the sardarji wife who gave birth to twins?

Her husband is out looking for the other man.

Shakespeare

sardarji #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"

sardarji #2: "No, who wrote it?"

Pizza

Q: A sardarji ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.

A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Above 18

Q: Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?

A: Because below 18 was not allowed !!!

Sex

Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he the column SEX. He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote THRICE A WEEK.

On seeing this in his appln. form, he was told that it was wrong and what they wanted it to be filled was either MALE or FEMALE. Again our sardar thought for a long time before coming up with the answer PREFERABLY FEMALES.

Red Ears

A sardarji with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.""Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?""The scoundrel called back."

Hard Disk

Santa and Banta work in a software company. One day, they were to move their m/cs to another building.

Santa was having a tough time carrying his machine.Santa : "My m/c has 500 MB disk. See how easily I am carrying it. Yours has just 250 MB. Can't you carry even this much?"Banta : "But yours is empty and my disk is full"!!!

Lie Detector

An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji are called upon to test a lie detector . The Englishman says:"I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector."Ok", he says, "10 bottles".And the machine is silent.The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers".BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector."Allright, 8 hamburgers".And the machine's silent.

The Sardarji says:"I think...",BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.

Window

A sardar, a japanese, and a britisher were lost in the desert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey.

The japanese took the radiator, the britisher took the seat, and the sardar took the door. After a while of walking the britisher asked the japanese "I'm confused,why did you bring the radiator?" The japanese responded, "If I get thirsty,I candrink the fluid."

Next the sardar asked the britisher "Why did you bringthe seat?" So the britisher said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on thesand. I can sit on this comfortable seat."

Finally the japanese asked the sardar why he had chosen the door. The sardar quickly responded to this question, "Well,when I shall feel the need to get some breeze in this summer all have to do is roll down the window."

White Lines

A sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway.On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile.

Then the foreman asked the sardar why he kept painting less each day, he replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can."

Cellular Phone

A sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says" Hello, how did you know I was here?"

Wash Basin

A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to washhis hands but starts washing the basin instead.

The manager comes runningand asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the man replies,"Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai "Wash Basin".

Ticket Collector

The collector asked Banta Singh for his rail ticket. Banta Singh searched his pockets but could not find it.

'Never mind,' reassured the collector, ' I will take your word that you bought your ticket.' 'That is very kind of you,' replied Banta Singh, 'but if I don't find it, I want to know where to get off.'

Beta

'Take me to the 10th floor,' said Banta Singh as he entered the lift of a high rise building. When the lift reached its destination, the liftman opened its gates and said, 'The 10th floor, beta.'

'Why did you call me beta?' demanded Banta Singh. 'I am not your son.' 'I called you beta because I brought you up,' replied the liftman.

Sweater

Mrs Kartar had bought a beautiful sweater for her husband . She sent it to her husband by parcel post along with a note.

The note said : ' The buttons of the sweater are removed since they where too heavy and added to the postage .

You will find them in the right hand pocket of the sweater

Race to the Sun:

Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.
One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."

"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."

And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."

Blind Date

Banta sets up Santa to go on a blind date with a friend of his. But Santa is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before.

"What do I do if she's ugly?" says Santa, "I'll be stuck with her all night.

"Don't worry," Banta says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don't just shout 'Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuggghhh!' and fake an asthma attack.

"So that night, Santa knocks at the girl's door and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is. He's about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts: ..."Aaaaaaaaaaauuugguuughhh!"